It’s technically the 29th, another special day, but it's the night of the 28th.

I was watching this documentary tonight about the area I'm currently staying in. Without being too specific, I always got this weird sense that there was a lot of organized crime here. Turns out I was right.

Out of nowhere, while I was watching, I was overcome by this internal voice that basically started repeating over and over again, “I miss crime.” This feeling overtook me, a feeling that didn't belong to me, a feeling of missing 'the specialness of being an outlaw and living in an enlightened world.' I started dissociating in that weird, scary way, getting dizzy and sweating and losing touch with everything around me.

I just sat there and tried to look normal as every alien thought and sentence washed over me, but the intrusions were so overwhelming. Inside of me, inside the part of me that was still conscious, there was this... chilling realization and sense of knowing that my sister has definitely met these parts of me and probably knows them better than I do but might not even know that she knows. And it’s just really crazy how well this stuff is designed to nest itself and hide basically infinitely, all in plain sight.

It's scary. I don't even know what's inside of me.