If you're reading this, then that means you survived my ToS. Congrats! That must mean you're pretty cool. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you'd better go ahead and read.) In a word... Welcome! Feel free to bookmark this page to skip over that prompt on future visits.

This site's history is a difficult one to explain in plain language; emotionally, it means a great deal to me, and it represents a lot in my heart. It has been with me through experiences that are harder still to explain. I hope that it can now grow to represent a lot of my heart, both to those that have the eyes to see and those who don't.

Originally, the first incarnation of yurievinstitute.org was intended to be highly divorced from its owner. I made a point of including almost no personal information; I wanted to be a ghost. I was set on being a 'resource' to other people, not a person. Now, in the second year of this site's public life, things have changed. While I still plan to include all originally intended content, I have realized that, unfortunately, this site is a part of me. I cannot excise 'myself' from it. All apologies.

One of the most important things about me is that... I live in my own world. I am known, at least in that internal world, by far too many names to count. In part, this site is intended to help fix that particular problem—not by trying (futilely) to eliminate or ignore it, but by encouraging all of these many names and shifting pieces to share one space. In the past, I have fought with myself and tried to spread myself as far apart as possible. Sadly, that is no longer sustainable. Please be patient with me as I gather and attempt to organize myself. (I won't.)

In the coming months, I hope to make this place into an island. I want to populate it with things that people can benefit from, somehow, but I also want to use it to help me remember myself. God willing, I will make it at least partway there.

Thank you for reading, and thank you even more for browsing.

Hello, my name is: J. Julchen Jules Master Yuriev Yuri Slim Shady ...we're gonna have a problem here.

Identity trickiness aside, hello! If you made it through that incredibly stuffy introduction, I commend you. Truly.

Not much about me really merits repeating, so I'll try to only include new information in this section.

(Don't even ask me about my experience with gender unless you want to be here for an hour. I don't care about pronouns or how people perceive me. Call me whatever you want.)

I am a deeply religious person and escapism is fundamental to my way of life. These two things are different, but they are also the same, because the worlds that I escape into are real. I appreciate and value people who do not pathologize the way I navigate reality as "magical thinking" et al.; I can be a little bit eccentric, but that doesn't mean I'm crazy. This website is, as they say, "best viewed with an open mind."

Dark fiction, prayer, my imagination, and the process of recovery. These are the four rafts I cling to for survival and, hopefully, a chance at happiness. Maybe we aren't so different after all—maybe you're just like me.

wip text but i'm literally in love with my girlfriend

“Great is he who is in love, since love is the present act of the great
creator, the present moment of the becoming and lapsing of the world.”

~ C. G. Jung

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"Why are you like this? Why did you write this?!"

Wouldn't you like to know!

"Is [insert fic title here] abandoned? When will you update it?"

In a perfect world, none of my fics would ever be abandoned. ...Actually, in a perfect world, I would have a completely chronological workflow and enough time and energy to post daily updates. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world—it is besieged both by sin and my own constant inconsistencies! Sorry!!

I never want to abandon anything I write; in fact, anything with multiple chapters that I post is largely pre-written. However, I am incapable of writing chronologically. When I write, especially when I'm really tuned in to what I'm writing, I jump all over the place. This is mostly fine for one-shots, but it is abolutely terrible for longfic. I'm all over the place.

In short: If you want an update to something, just talk to me about it. It is that simple. Getting excited about the fic with someone else often helps me click back into place. Beyond that... I try to push myself to work on stuff, but it's not easy. If you want an update, get personal with me.