...Are you okay?

Something tells me that, if you're on this page, you're not—and that's okay.

Does that mean you think my suffering is acceptable?

Quite the opposite. This page is designed to help you get out of what you're feeling right now. It also does its best to be a resource for you to fall back on in times of confusion or interpersonal conflict.

There are many things this tool can do for you, and it is continually evolving. Use it according to your best judgment. The table below links to guides on how to manage certain emotions that tend to overwhelm you and impair your decision-making. If you don't yet fully know how to describe your emotions, take a moment now to ask yourself what you might be feeling.

SADNESS	ANGER
LONELINESS	FEAR/PANIC
DISGUST	OTHER/ALL

Why should I manage my emotions?

I'm sure it can sometimes feel that being asked to manage your emotions or "control yourself" is actually code for "you don't have the right to feel those feelings" (or something to that nature). This could not be further from the truth. Emotion regulation safeguards you, the people you care about, and your relationships from harm. Learning how to "regulate" powerful feelings just means working to ensure that you make safer, healthier choices. It means mastering your emotions, not ignoring or denying them, which in turn means protecting yourself from vulnearability and eliminating potential conflict and/or danger.

Sometimes, it might not feel entirely correct to say that you are "sad" or "angry" because you're being faced with something more nuanced. When basic "emotion words" fail to convey the complexity of what you're struggling with, you might find it more helpful to reference what this page refers to as "topics" (as seen below).

SUICIDE	GRIEF
ADDICTION	SHAME
DISSOCIATION	"I DON'T KNOW"

There are some issues you often deal with that may not currently feel safe for you to name. These highly destructive, traumatic, attachment-related difficulties are discussed on multiple different pages within this tool. For safety reasons, they are not detailed outside of spoilered links. You can find such pages linked below.

Unfortunately, you were not taught about healthy relationships as a child. They were never modeled to you. You had no frame of reference, and this is not your fault. Because of this, however, you sometimes behave in ways that aren't compassionate or fair to other people—or to yourself. Your old patterns of behavior are no longer compatible with present-day reality—you now live with safe people, which means that you no longer need to operate under the assumption that the people around you may try to hurt you or take away your rights. Your behavior needs to change to reflect the differences in your environment. In doing so, you will become self-mastered, educated, and powerful. This process is sometimes referred to as recovery.

Here is a list of articles written by me—which means they were, to some extent, also written by you—detailing various interpersonal skills and concepts that you were not properly taught about. Reading these pages incurs no cost. You are allowed to read them. You are also allowed to disagree with them, but they were written with compassion. Hopefully, along with the material contained within, that compassionate tone will reach you and lift you closer to the present and into greater self-awareness.

These pages (alphabetized below) can be read at any time and in any order. They share a high degree of interconnectivity. If you have any suggestions regarding the content, please click here for instructions on how to submit feedback regarding any part of this tool.

RESPECT: What does it actually mean to respect someone, and how do you demonstrate respect in relationships?

RESPONSIBILITY: What does it mean to take responsibility for something, and why should I care?

Please read through as many pages as you feel you need as many times as you need.